Just one more surgery please

Okay, so this time I will talk about all of the surgeries I had in as much detail as I can recount. My first surgery was in 1970, when I was 5 years old. Actually, I think there were two or three, I'm not completely sure, but I am sure that there were at least two, since they did work on my jaw and my ear. First, a portion of rib was removed from my right rib cage and pieces of the bone were fashioned and grafted to my right jaw to reshape it somewhat to match my left jaw. After these types of grafting surgeries, the jaw is wired shut to permit the bone to heal. I must have blocked that part of my memory out because I don't recall what it was like being a 5 year old little boy going through that kind of trauma. The next surgery involved a plastic mold in the shape of an ear and some skin graft from my hip. The mold and skin graft were fastened to my right side of my scalp where there was no ear. (When I was born I basically had no ear on the right side). At the time, with the medical technology available, the doctors attempted to determine what my right ear would look like when I was full-grown, how big it would be and where it would eventually be positioned on my head. All of those factors change as a person matures from child to adult. The doctors also pulled the skin from the surrounding scalp to cover the plastic ear mold. Some from the facial area and some from the hair growth area. I've watched some home videos of me after the surgeries...a great big bandage on the side of my face and I was amazingly happy and smiling. Wow! Great family surrounding me.

Jump ahead to Jr. High in 1979. It was time for another bone grafting surgery to adjust the jaw bone again and try to align it better. This time a portion of rib from my left rib cage was extracted along with some hip bone. Both pieces of bone were connected to my right jaw bone as it was again re-sculpted. The side effects of this surgery were painful. The bone that they removed from my hip caused regular deep pin-like shooting pain in my leg on that side. That would flair up unannounced off and on for a day on a one or two week cycle for upwards of 6 months following the surgery. I think there was a teacher or two who thought I was faking it, but I sure knew I wasn't. This surgery occurred during the winter and I remember wearing a snow cap a lot, even in class because I was feeling very self conscious at the time as a teenage boy, wondering if there was a girl in the world who would notice me in a positive way.

Jump ahead to Spring break 1984, my senior year in High School. Apparently, the surgery that was performed on my jaw in 1979 was a failure. The bone that was grafted had dissolved. So, another surgery was scheduled. This time bone, muscle and skin were removed from my right shoulder blade all as a package. The bone was used to extend and shape my right jaw and the muscle and skin were used for shaping an sculpting that side of my face. There are a lot of details to this surgery so, it may seem like I am jumping around a bit, but stick with me. The surgery performed to fabricate an ear way back when I was 5 years old was the cause of the failed surgery in 1979 when I was in Jr. High. Apparently, the skin that had been pulled from my face and scalp to fashion the ear left the skin on that side of my face tight so when the bone grafting was performed in 1979, the facial skin was too tight on the bone grafting and caused it to dissolve. That was my understanding. As a result, the surgery in 1984 included the skin graft from my shoulder to ease the stretching effect on my facial skin when the jaw bone was extended. The muscle from my shoulder was added to my cheek area to provide material that the doctors could sculpt to shape the right side of my face and somewhat match it to the left side. This surgery was a one-shot deal and lasted just over 12 hours. Extra muscle was added to my cheek since they planned to go in later in another surgery and strip off some of the excess in the sculpting process. So, after the swelling went down, there was a larger sized lump on the right side of my face where before it had been slightly indented. Also, the skin that was transplanted from my shoulder to my cheek tanned a different shade than my natural facial skin and it had a two toned effect. I reacted in a self concious fashion to this new change. It bothered me. Everything that was different as a result of all of my surgeries that was not "perfect" as we always seem to see in Hollywood, had a negative effect on me. I used to let my hair grow long enough to cover my ears so I could hide my right ear. Just to note, it didn't turn out looking like my left ear.

Jump ahead to 1986/87, It was in college that one of my dorm mates asked me why I didn't have the "final" surgery where the doctors would remove some of the excess muscle they had placed on my cheek and sculpt my face. So, I took his encouragement and had another surgery. As a result of this surgery, in removing some of the bulk, and the bone being stablized, the two tone skin from my shoulder was completely removed and only my native facial skin remained. This was a surprise bonus waking up from that surgery. As I mentioned before, the two tone effect really bothered me. It was somewhere in this time frame that I started getting shorter hair cuts. I wasn't as self concious about hiding my defects. One day I walked into the barber shop asked for a crew cut and walked out with a Marine style crew cut, no hair on the sides or back and about 1/2 inch on top. I loved it. One of my house mates was concerned. He had never seen the detail of surgical scarring and defect as it was now exposed. He was concerned about how I would not be able to cope with being so exposed, but, something had happend inside, I had finally come to grips with my identity, and it wasn't dictated by my appearance, that was not what made me who I am. It was a spiritual stepping stone moment for me.

Jump ahead to 2005. The muscle tissue that had been inserted on my cheek all those years ago had turned fatty. It turns out that different parts of our bodies put on fatty tissue at different rates and proportions. So, the tissue transplanted from my shoulder developed fatty tissue at a faster rate than my native face tissue. So, the transplant was becoming a larger lump. Some people would mistake it for a tumor or cancer thinking that it was from chewing tobbaco use. People would come up with all kinds of theories as to why I looked the way that I do. Burn injuries, cancer, car accident, etc... Anyway, I had another surgery where the doctor removed excess buildup of fatty tissue. That brought it back down again and for a couple of years it actually look somewhat decent.

Now, 2009, fatty tissue has built up some more and the size of the lump has increased. The surgeon did mention back in 2005 that he thought a certain part of the transplant tissue was going to be a "bain" as I recall him putting it. So, I'm not sure if I will pursue another surgery in the form of liposuction to reduce that size. Maybe.

What I forgot to mention; there are countless scars on my body as a result of all of the described surgeries. One on my hip from the bone graft, one on my hip from skin graft, one on each side of my chest from partial rib bone grafts, multiple stitching scars on my face. A large stitch scar that goes from the center of my back all the way to my right arm pit where the bone/muscle and skin was removed from my shoulder area. That stitch stretched a lot since I lifted weights in High School and skin had been removed from that area. The remaining skin had to make up for the growth and there was a lot of scaring as a result. I think those are all of my surgical scars.

Gotta go for now. Have a great day!
James